I will eat through this box of chocolates even if it kills me

I will eat through this box of chocolates even if it kills me. First the truffles, then the caramels. Sore gums, my opposable thumbs are tapping on my index fingers. This little piggy went to market, this one went on a sweet bender and this one is all all alone. 

I’m refreshing the video call like I’m poaching tickets for a highly in-demand gig. Not available online at this time. The host hasn’t let me in. Laptop clamps shut and my hinges unhinge. I will eat through this box of chocolates even if it kills me. 

I awaken from what I assume to be a sugar-induced coma. I missed the therapy session that was so very needed for the reasons I needed it. Ironic and moronic I’d say. It is a day like any other, I feel a meandering energy that calls for a stroll. 

I like my little life, my little walks, my little descents into abyss and hysteria. It’s all part of it right, it’s all the colours and textures of living, they must coexist. I kind of just exist, in that I live alone, I work alone, I devour a milk tray alone. I do have one friend. K. He is chaotic and elusive, he is codependent but doesn’t like chocolate. I call him today because my untethering is a touch worrying and perhaps I need to get him to add me to ‘find my friends’. 

K. tells me that we should go tree climbing, he found a perfect one he needs to show me, typical K. I tell him I need to be back for dinner, solely because I want to have a pre-discussed exit time. He sulks and I can hear it through the line, typical K. 

I meet him at the entrance to the woods. There is a golf course that we must avoid if we don’t want to disturb the angry golfers and I know K. will want to. He is energetic today, often a two-man show of lethargy and dynamism over the course of any rendezvous. We walk through the woodland path and I want to hold his hand. Not because I’m attracted to him, ew no far from it. Because I want to swing arms and have a little skip. I think I just want to regress…

Read the full piece in The Alchemy Experiment's publication It'll Be Alright.